Category Archives: Personal

my story, personal

Day 6 Sweet Dreams [31 Days of Mental-Pause]

From the time we women get pregnant until I don’t know when, our sleep cycles are interrupted whether to feed a precious little newborn or  to empty a bladder being used as a trampoline.

I was lucky enough to develop chronic insomnia after the birth of my first son. He’s 19 now. :/  Tonight’s post is dedicated to the life crunches that disturb our sleep and the hope, yes there’s hope, that we can reestablish good sleep patterns. It’s important.

According to health.com* there are plenty of good reasons to catch and hold onto those zzzzzzzz’s:

*Improve memory

*Live longer

*Curb inflamation

*Spur creativity (hello, I’m an artist!)

*Healthy weight! (I’ll stop here, but go to their link and read more, if you need more reasons to clock out at night.)

I think as moms in middle life our jobs are the fullest they’ve ever been and we fall on the bottom rung of the ‘must take care of’ list.

I’m going to change that. Even now. If you noticed my 31 days posts are usually written as midnight looms in the balance, but tonight I’m heading to bed in just a bit. I’m important enough to take care of too!

Do you need to readjust your sleep schedule? What else needs attention in your own lifestyle in the good of your health?

Sweet dreams! zzzzzzzz

Day 5 Relax [31 Days of Mental-Pause]

I can’t wait to tell you about today.  I was praying, like usual, as Mr. Insomnia kicked Mr. Sandman to the curb last night. For today, I just wanted to relax. By that I don’t mean sit around and do nothing, that would drive me crazy. But sitting around with nothing I have to get done would be lovely–that’s another day though. I did have a lot to do today, but I was praying that I could just enjoy the day without the stresses of my to-do list. I schedule things that sound fun to me, and then I find myself wishing I wasn’t doing that very thing? What is that all about? RELAX, Tam, RELAX.  Funny thing; I tell myself to relax and gently take a deep breath in…exhale. Repeat. BUT, if someone else tells me to relax, it sets a fire under me. I have no idea why. No worries though, it was only me talking to the Lord about ME relaxing. He showed me a lot of great things, and I fell asleep with a peaceful mind and heart.

This morning I had a photo session to shoot and then this that and the other to get done. Where was RELAX now? I found it driving away from the session and back home with my husband, and I’ve laughed and enjoyed today more than most others in the recent months. What changed? Me. My heart. My attitude. I just wanted today to be non-stressful, and so it was, mostly. I had to make hard choices a few times to stay there, but I’m so glad I did. Had I not, I would have missed so much: yahtzee with the boys, a little guy falling asleep on my lap as I just held him (see, my computer wasn’t on my lap for a change) and the best part -my son telling me a joke. Well, he would have still told it, but I would have missed both the telling and the joke had I been wound up in things that just don’t really matter most.  I need to spend my time on the most things, more. Want to hear the joke?

“How can you tell if the skeleton ate your candy?”

I don’t know, how?

“It goes right through him!”

Funny, right?

Apparently he made that one up. I laughed so hard at it each time he retold it that it added fuel for the next time. The joke changed a little here and there, but the studiousness of getting it right and getting the laugh was so much fun to take in. Anyone who is blessed enough to know him is laughing at the mere visual, I’m sure of it!

I’m so glad I decided to relax today-in my mind and in my heart.  Did you laugh today? Maybe you should make it your goal for tomorrow to just realax in your life, in your home, a little more than usual. I can only imagine what I’ve missed as mental-pause put ME, the me who God has made me to be,  on pause for all too long. It felt GOOD to be more like ME.  Life’s not that serious, Tam. (Feel free to put your own name there.)  What’s the plan for tomorrow, friends?

Relax

Jn 10:10 … I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Day 4 Brave Girl [31 Days of Mental-Pause]

How was your day? Last night I told you that mental-pause would be back to see me,and I was right. What a day!  It’s been many, many moons since my husband and I have been able to go out together on a weekend night. It’s been so long, in fact, that our oldest son told us he was going to write this date down since he can’t remember the last time we went out. Before you get to feeling jealous or anything silly like that, let me give you the whole picture. I’m surrounded by the contents of now emptied dresser drawers and sitting in the middle of our bedroom  as I ‘organize.’ I have a strange tendency to do things backwards but nevertheless, in my own way I continue to strive forward to get my bedroom in complete order.  That’s where my Mr. found me. (At least I was no longer in the closet like the previous 4 days.)  On short notice we realized our son would not be playing ball this weekend and we’d have a night out, if we wanted one, or knew what to do with one. We decided on a favorite pastime:  get  a cup of coffee and head to our favorite book store where he would browse magazines and I would edit photos. The plans were not only met with surprise from the oldest but disbelief from the youngest, “Coffee is not a date!”

Excited to get on with this date, I got myself  ready. This meant I pulled myself off of the floor-sweatpants, sweatshirt and all, and picked up my purse. After waiting for my son to give me back my credit card (which required me waiting out the panic of a lost wallet, retraced footsteps and a little groaning here and there), we were now ready to go. It wasn’t quite 7:30 so I was in no danger of my ride turning into a pumpkin just yet.

However, I was too hot for coffee and too hungry to skip dinner. My half sub of the day had been used up by now. I was hoping for a nice bowl of soup. I think it was nearly 20 sec and one misstep off of the curb before my prince said, pointing to our tags, “What month is it?”  Gulp. Guess who pays the bills in our home? Yep. Me. But I don’t bring in the mail, and this can prove to be SCARY at times. Like now.  Unlike that little sticker signified, it was not September 2013. Nope, it was now October making that a completely useless item hanging out on our license plate. At this moment I was faced with a couple choices. I could have chosen to be brave, face the issue without unnecessary or unhelpful emotions (and comments), or not.

I chose to be brave. I ran through my checkbook, nothing. Walked into B&N, checked DMV for a record of payment. Nothing. Knowing this was my fault and that my mind is just overloaded and my body tired from such insomnia,it  just made me want to cower in a little ditch somewhere and hide, but I shouldn’t. I could, I can~ and have at times, but I shouldn’t. Do you know just how many bills I’ve paid (always on time) in the past 30 years? How many appointments I’ve made that didn’t slip my mind? Grocery lists that I’ve been successful to shop for in completion without leaving half in the store? Oh, I’m trying to stand tall and carry on during this season of MP…No date. No books. No editing. No COFFEE. No dinner.   …I should be a BRAVE GIRL.   

God told Joshua,  (1:9) Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Are you being brave? Call on God to help you do what He has called you to do. Be a BRAVE GIRL with me.

2013-10-04_0002

Isn’t this bracelet beautiful? Another Brave Girl and wonderful friend gave it to me for my birthday a few weeks ago. You can see more of her designs in her etsy shop if you’re interested:  HERE!

Day 1 I’m late! [31 Days of Mental-pause]

31dayslogoWelcome! Ironically fitting, I’m starting 31 days of writing of mental-pause and here, on day one, I am already 3 days behind; I’m late! (What did you think I meant? Because if it meant anything other than I am a couple days behind on this 31 Days thing, THIS would be a whole ‘nuther title!)  My saving grace is that it’s not quite midnight or it would be 4 days behind. I’m sorry!

Something has happened my my very organized, well thought out and planned life. I mean, I taught school for more than 15 years, where neatly filled in little squares for every hour in a day and day of the week were my left hand. Oh, how I miss that structure in my life. Sure, some wonderful 50ish year old friends find it easily possible to follow much of the same, but not this chick. No, I find it close to impossible to finish one day’s worth of planning at one sitting let alone an entire week’s worth. Not only that, I lose my writing utensil at least a dozen times in my effort to accomplish something like that and in seconds flat. By the time I find it, I’ve completely forgotten why I needed it and have moved on to something else I’ll soon forget. It’s mental-pause that takes the part of my brain that once knew semblance of order and short-term memory recall as the norm. I don’t know where they’re hiding or for how long they’ll be there, but I sorely miss them.

WHAT is happening to me?  Today I went to the store for 3 things. I remembered the broom and called it done when I saw in the holiday baking aisle a bag of dark chocolate and mint  chips; that should make it all better. At least until tomorrows’s mental-pause strikes again. And it will.  Until then, SWEET dreams!

Chesterfield Berry Farm Pumpkins [Midlothain VA Photographer]

I think we found The Great Pumpkin!!  We had a great time with the Chesterfield Berry Farm Pumpkins today.

We started the day with a parking spot that couldn’t be closer to the gates if we had camped out there all night. Normally, I love walking and could care less about a parking spot, but today it  would be just myself and my 9 year old carrying back the pumpkins from the patch. I feared he’d pick out one larger than we could both carry and closer to the car was a much better option than 1/2 mile across the lot.

The car parked next to us was using the ‘loading/unloading zone’ as opportunity to put on her daughter’s socks, and shoes, and jacket. And, well, my guy was in the back of the car waiting to unload and biting at the bit to get this party started.

Instead of getting frustrated, I decided to jump out  and at the risk of interfering with her dressing room,  😉  I carefully unleaded the big guy. As I was getting my camera ready, I asked the woman next to us, “Does everyone have their free admission tickets?”

We had been collecting some from the Chesterfield Berry Farmer’s Market with our bi-weekly shopping trips in hopes that the group of us would be able to go, but it was just my son and I after all.  She said, “What? No!  We’re just here and have no idea what it’s going to cost (that would be about $20 each). So, I was able to start the morning by giving her the six extra we had. I’m so thankful because there were 11 of them altogether and I don’t believe they had planned on this pumpkin excursion costing them over $200!

Deciding to head for the Great Pumpkin himself, first, we loaded up on the hayride wagon and headed out. What a great time. As we rode and enjoyed this gorgeous day the Lord had given us I leaned down to my son and told him I took this ride for the first time 26 years ago. A lot of great memories of my class field trips and family trips since, but not one was as special as this one-just N and I.

Our farmer-driver dropped us off in the lane on the right side of the pumpkin patch. We then ran over to the left side of the patch, of course. You’ll see which pumpkin he decided to keep; there were many that got the exclamation, THIS ONE! Usually that was a false alarm.  Suddenly he was ready to load back up and head to the rest of the fun, and despite my assurance of not having to run to catch ‘that tractor and this time,’ we waited. And waited. And survived the wait, but we didn’t do anything else, but wait, and wait in case we’d be distracted and miss the next one. We didn’t!

Any five pumpkins were $19.99 and let me tell you what a deal that is IF and when my husband and oldest son were with us, but they weren’t.  So, we took our two carefully picked pumpkins to the scale and cashier. Less than $5.00. Can  you believe it? Free tickets, all the fun, 2 pumpkins and not even 5 dollars for the date.  Again, the Lord put in my path someone who I could help in a tiny way. Poor young girl working the registers had been stung twice by a bee. I felt sad for her; they really hurt!  N and I were heading to the car to put in the pumpkins, and I happened to have bee-sting cream in my first-aid box so I could help out that gal a bit. Again, thankful to walk the path the Lord has me on and thankful He is working in my life that I pay attention to others around me.

Straight ahead now and at a faster clip, we’re off to the hay, corn, chickens, cows (my boy is such a city boy-you’ll see!!) and PIGS. I love pigs. I LOVE PIGS.  Sadly, they had already raced and were in a pig-house with tall windows, so I couldn’t really talk with them much. But I did get to see them a little. Did I mention that I love pigs?

In the middle of all this fun, there was a scare house. A couple of the actors were on the outside: an evil, scary clown and a wolf. And you know what? Even though he didn’t want to go IN or NEAR that house, my son was intrigued. So much so, that he was a bit deceitful  in order to go out of our way and back that way to see it again. There have been many times in my life that I wished I didn’t have such discernment when it comes to others being honest with me, but for the sake of my son’s character development, I’m forever thankful the Lord has given me this gift.  We talked about how easy it is for the world to trick us into its ways, and even without our desires being in sync with its message, we all too easily fall victim to the work of the world and are torn from God’s truths.  It was a great teaching moment for both my son and myself.

A r c h i v e s