Where’s Your Mask?
Who does not know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? They’ve lived through the 90s (maybe earlier) and are going stronger than ever even now. My young-gun is a diehard TMNT fan. We even did his birthday in all things TMNT last March. His favorite color is green, this proclamation came after picking out and painting his bedroom BLUE, he knows the theme song and every ninja turtle move that goes along with it, without warning I’m quizzed regularly on which color each turtle wears-to the point that I’ve made up my own mnemonics so I can pass the test…yeah, it’s a little boy behind that mask, but to him, he’s none other than Raphael! (Raph wears Red, just so you know.)
An intimate group of women were talking this week. At one moment a gregarious smile filled the profile spot on one of their facebook timelines. It was a beautiful photo of an equally beautiful woman. I am positive that smile spread to each of her friends as one by one they saw it refresh in her profile. Sweet!
Only minutes later that happy face, bubbly woman popped in and confesses that she’s struggling-really struggling- and having a tough time in life right now. Even one of the other women commented that you’d never be able to tell by her recent ‘selfie.’
I do take my friends at face-value, but I am never surprised to hear the heart manifesting a different front than the face.
~Why is that photographer so bitter and so insistent about pointing out what/how other photographers do things?
~Did you notice the gal at work is continually putting down the rest of the staff?
~How can a friend be so out-reaching for all God is and at the same time be so demeaning to others behind their backs?
~Why does she keep backing out of commitments that she’s made?
~How can your _______ (family) treat others better than they treat you-it’s you they love, right?
I could copy and paste one thing after another, but I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen the uglies in and around our lives without needing documentation of even more evidence….but why is it like this? It’s not right—AND, it’s all too easy to be angry or even disgusted. “They should know better, ” after-all.
What’s missing?
Sometimes it is a simple as sin; sin will make us stupid…if you know to do good and choose not to, it’s sin. (James 4:17)
What else could we be missing? Remember Raphael? There’s a cute little boy under that mask!
Masks.
Invisible masks.
We can’t see them, but they cover the faces that reflect the heart.
Masks: we wear them to hide what hurts us.
They’re heavy.
They weigh us down.
They make living from underneath of them cumbersome, stifling and frustrating.
They’re exhausting to keep straight.
They make it impossible for others to see the real us,
and they make it incredibly hard for us to see straight.
Yet,
we drive in them,
we parent through them,
we try to build relationships divided by them,
and we love from underneath their sense of safety…
no matter how deceiving that may be.
Behind our own gregarious grins, and behind our own masks, we’re hurting. We’ve lost babies and buried children, we’ve been betrayed by the ones who matter most, we’ve been abandoned by parents and left out of our grandparents’ lives, we’ve built up tough exteriors where we really wanted tenderness and unwavering, loving commitment, we’ve pushed wheelchairs of our own flesh and blood because of birth defect, disease and old age, we’ve lived daily with invisible medical conditions and hidden addictions, we’ve been left broken physically, emotionally and financially. We’re hurt. We have to protect our hearts from both disingenuous understanding as well as disinterest. It’s easier to build a wall than it is to watch someone turn away.
Isolation is easier to live with than apathy.
I love the truth in the quote, “He who has nothing to hide, hides nothing.” I would that we could all live that transparent of a life. That who we are in the Lord would be enough. I strive to be forthright in my life, and I know the struggles all to personally with some of those masks.
Conversely, there’s a wonderful tenderness in the words of Plato, “Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
I neither commend sin that roots itself in hurt nor defend a woman in her sin, but being kind and truthful as well as forgiving can really go far in helping a hurting heart. Only the Lord can heal all of our hurts, and that’s just it; He CAN, and He DOES, when we let Him. I encourage you to take off your masks. Life is so much better from the other side. Keep your expectations heavenward, and others won’t be able to hurt you so badly.
Take your heart, hurts and all, to the only one who is able to help fully.
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Joy - Two songs come to mind…one from Phantom of the Opera. Lyrics begin, “Masquerade, painted faces on parade….” Then, just to highlight the “parade” takes place in churches as well, I think of Casting Crowns and “Stained Glass Masquerade”.
“Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay.”
I think the 2 lines that really got me years ago when that song first came out are: “But would it set me free If I dared to let you see The truth behind the person That you imagine me to be.” I don’t know about you, but I find sometimes others place such high expectations on us, and then trying to live up to those expectations is so draining. I can think back to even as a child, because of who my parents were, there were certain expectations that came with having my family name. What I was “imagined” to be, I was not….and what if anyone really found that out? For years I lived under that pressure and I played the game. I cannot tell you the release and freedom found in authenticity. It’s hard to breathe behind a mask.
I used to be so afraid of failure…of others seeing weakness. I had to have all the right answers, and I had to be certain they were right before I would speak them, even if I didn’t believe them.
With masks stripped away, I’m not always right, but I’m teachable. I’ve learned God uses weakness. I’ve demolished the perfection persona. I share struggles. I’ve quit playing “Hide and Seek” because honestly, I was too good a ‘hider’. It’s lonely not being found.
Lord, may I be transparent so that the Light reflected from my life is You,
Joy