Category Archives: A Girl in the Middle

I Quit! [31 Days]

Not really.

But as counterproductive as it seems, before beginning writing this month,  I allowed myself  some written down ‘self love rules’ for this  31 Days thing.

1. I could quit.

2. I didn’t have to be posted ‘on time.’

3. I didn’t have to write for anyone or any reason.

4. I didn’t have to do anything particular or in any specific way, hence the category I chose.

5. I would write on days or nights that I felt compelled to AND felt like it.

Disclaimer, the teacher in me balks at all of these. The mom in me does the same. Yet, you see, I’m an all or nothing person and when tied in too tightly it’s a disaster in waiting. I, for one, don’t need any more disasters in my life.

Can anyone relate?

It’s a good thing I made this deal with myself, because there were nights where my eyes couldn’t distinguish between the hall light and the neighbors porch light. Other times the light was clear, but  I was pretty frustrated with my own life and I didn’t want to share that in a bad light. Maybe once or twice I actually went to bed instead of sitting down to share something here.  The Lord and I have a great prayer time going as I try to fall asleep each night-so that only meant more time with my heavenly Father. I need that most. And there was a night or two where I just didn’t want to write. There was no writer’s block, there was no big qualm over what I should (or shouldn’t) write about, I just didn’t want to…besides, I’m trying to learn to knit and crochet. Did you know you can actually do that (unintentionally) BACKWARDS? I know, cRaZy!!

Thank you for understanding.  I would be on the losing side of this challenge had I given up the best for something good. We do that so often in our walk as Christians.  My desire is to BE who the Lord wants me to be, sometimes the DO has to wait.  Here’s a little sneak peek at what was drawing more of my attention.  Maybe next time I’ll be ‘more perfect’ in the string of things, but– for the big win….it really didn’t bother me at all! Thank the Lord for making my life real vs really ritual. <3

Psaml 39:3ff …My heart was hot within me, While I was musing the fire burned; Then I spoke with my tongue: “LORD, make me to know my end And what is the extent of my days; Let me know how transient I am. “Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah.…

I don’t plan on quitting my writing anytime soon, and I’m THRILLED to have so many of you reading along with me. I don’t know why you stopped by, but I’m happy you’re around.

 

Where’s Your Mask? [31 Days]

Where’s Your Mask?


Snowball Fight and Snowman

Who does not know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? They’ve lived through the 90s (maybe earlier) and are going stronger than ever even now.  My young-gun is a diehard TMNT fan. We even did his birthday in all things TMNT last March. His favorite color is green, this proclamation came after picking out and painting his bedroom BLUE, he knows the theme song and every ninja turtle move that goes along with it,  without warning I’m quizzed regularly on which color each turtle wears-to the point that I’ve made up my own mnemonics so I can pass the test…yeah, it’s a little boy behind that mask, but to him, he’s none other than Raphael! (Raph wears Red, just so you know.)

An intimate group of women were talking this week. At one moment a gregarious smile filled the profile spot on one of their facebook timelines. It was a beautiful photo of an equally beautiful woman. I am positive that smile spread to each of her friends as one by one they saw it refresh in her profile. Sweet!

Only minutes later that happy face, bubbly woman popped in and confesses that she’s struggling-really struggling- and having a tough time in life right now.  Even one of the other women commented that you’d never be able to tell by her recent ‘selfie.’

I do take my friends at face-value, but I am never surprised to hear the heart manifesting a different front than the face.

~Why is that photographer so bitter and so insistent about pointing out what/how other photographers do things?

~Did you notice the gal at work is continually putting down the rest of the staff?

~How can a friend be so out-reaching for all God is and at the same time be so demeaning to others behind their backs?

~Why does she keep backing out of commitments that she’s made?

~How can your _______ (family) treat others better than they treat you-it’s you they love, right?

I could copy and paste one thing after another, but I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen the uglies in and around our lives without needing documentation of even more evidence….but why is it like this? It’s not right—AND, it’s all too easy to be angry  or even disgusted.  “They should know better, ” after-all.

What’s missing?  

Sometimes it is a simple as sin; sin will make us stupid…if you know to do good and choose not to, it’s sin. (James 4:17)

What else could we be missing?  Remember Raphael? There’s a cute little boy under that mask!

Masks.

Invisible masks.

We can’t see them, but they cover the faces that reflect the heart.

Masks:  we wear them to hide what hurts us.

They’re heavy.

They weigh us down.

They make living from underneath of them cumbersome, stifling  and frustrating.

They’re exhausting to keep straight.

They make it impossible for others to see the real us,

and they make it incredibly hard for us to see straight.

Yet,

we drive in them,

we parent through them,

we try to build relationships divided by them,

and we love from  underneath their sense of safety…

no matter how deceiving that may be.

Behind our own gregarious grins, and behind our own masks, we’re hurting. We’ve lost babies and buried children, we’ve been betrayed by the ones who matter most, we’ve been abandoned by parents and left out of our grandparents’ lives, we’ve built up tough exteriors where we really wanted tenderness and unwavering, loving commitment, we’ve pushed wheelchairs of our own flesh and blood because of birth defect, disease and old age, we’ve lived daily with invisible medical conditions and hidden addictions, we’ve been left broken physically, emotionally and financially. We’re hurt. We have to protect our hearts from both disingenuous understanding as well as disinterest. It’s easier to build a wall than it is to watch someone turn away.

Isolation is easier to live with than apathy.

I love the truth in the quote, “He who has nothing to hide, hides nothing.”  I would that we could all live that transparent of a life. That who we are in the Lord would be enough. I strive to be forthright in my life, and I know the struggles all to personally with some of those masks.

Conversely, there’s a wonderful tenderness in the words of Plato, “Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

I neither commend sin that roots itself in hurt nor defend a woman in her sin, but being kind and truthful as well as forgiving can really go far in helping  a hurting heart.  Only the Lord can heal all of our hurts, and that’s just it; He CAN, and He DOES, when we let Him.  I encourage you to take off your masks. Life is so much better from the other side. Keep your expectations heavenward, and others won’t be able to hurt you so badly.

Take your heart, hurts and all, to the only one who is able to help fully.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

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Danger At the Zoo [31 Days]

It’s been a long tough year financially for us, and I know we’re not alone. Up until last year, I would get some money for my birthday and I would use it toward the purchase of  zoo passes for my boys and I. This year, it wasn’t until just now we could afford them so we’re making up for lost time. I just posted about our trip to Richmond Metro Zoo here. Take a look!

I’ve been studying and reading, praying and listening to the Lord and His Word a lot.  Currently I am also reading a couple of business books as well as taking a creatively inspired online class with a couple of friends. It’s a lot all at once, it keeps my mind is busy and my heart full. Who would think that a stroll through the zoo would draw so much of it altogether on one path?

There’s Danger at the zoo!

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Yes, there’s danger at the zoo, but can you spot it?

It totally cracks me up that my oldest is not a fan of the emu. An emu?  Taking these photos they came strutting their stuff. A big hand on my shoulder pulled me back, “Mom, he’s going to peck your head off!”  I don’t think so, yet, he was quite calculated in his direction which happened to be straight for me.  Glad there was a fence there, and that I’m shorter than it is tall!

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Large chunks of wood are missing from these scarce wooden fences. Came’s have some strong teeth!  Again, I have an idea for a photo (I do love it!) but I forged with a bit of trepidation. These beauties (I believe their name actually means beauty-insert the old adage, beauty is the eye of the beholder here) weren’t behind any plexiglass, and, well, neither was I. Did you know that these guys can drink around 40 gallons of water in no time flat? I didn’t, but I do know about them spitting the yucky green and smelly contents of their first stomach when they’re upset.  And THAT upset me just a tad; it would be gross, of course, but my camera may not recover from such a spit.  Even so, I really wanted this picture. Thankfully, this guy didn’t seem to mind. Close one!

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What’s the Texas team motto? Hook ’em Horns? Probably has nothing to do with a rhino 😉  but it’s easy to see the danger with these big guys. Up close and personal? NO, thank you!

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Doesn’t she look harmless? So sweet!  We love, Zoe and she and her exhibit mate, Farley (seen below) love us. We do spend a lot of time with them. Like all primates, they can’t swim. I’m in no way comparing my husband to a primate (NO, really I am not), but I can understand this phenomenon because until I married him, I’d never seen anyone sink in the pool. He does. In the deep end and straight to the bottom no matter how I try to teach him to swim, it only goes well if he can stand chest up out of the water.  As we observe the orangutans (oranguTAN, by the way, not the often mispronounced orangutANG) and the chimps, we forget there’s danger at the zoo for them. One step into the water and they’ll be joining the Bumble Snow Monster from Rudolph. Remember how he dropped over the edge and sank in the frozen lake?   I’d hate to witness that!

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Oh, and just because most of us think there’s more danger in the next picture than there usually is, I’ll throw it in. My little guy wanted to kill it. But he wasn’t doing any harm. Plus, the pictures, remember?

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EEEK!  (Sorry!)

Even more difficult to see is any danger at the zoo when encountering these majestic animals. Each so different from the next, but so similar. What could be a danger to them? Each other!  The zookeepers are often juggling them around based on who isn’t getting along and who might need a time out. I bet it’s no easy transfer, and I’d love to be there for it one time. Oh, if I could talk to the animals!

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I saved the best for last. In the middle of all our fun, I told the boys to walk down the path until I told them to turn back and look at me. How would I have known they would both do the same thing at the same time?

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Where’s the danger? If you look closely you’ll see M’s lanyard swinging in the motion of their quick turn-around. This photo is a split second before N’s short arm hit and knocked that big cup of drink sending it smashing to the ground in pieces.  It was HILARIOUS! To me. Thankfully they both saw the humor in the incident only a minute or so later, but as I have told you, there’s danger at the zoo! 😉

 

The more I study and read, the more it upsets my heart to see the danger in what people are saying. If you’re a Christian-you know the Lord-it’s all and only His Word that is truth. We have to know His Word! Scary to see just how much in common both popular women in the Christian realm and in the secular — even atheist circles- are saying. There are two big commonalities: 1. Their words resonate with our lives and their sound feels good to us, and 2. Their words are mixed with truth.  So, what’s the danger? It’s in what we can’t see. When we can’t see the mixed in separately from solid truth, THE Truth-it’s more danger to us than any of these animals would ever be in.  Without the confines of the zookeepers nourishing the animals, making them clean, and establishing boundaries where they have no choice but to not cross out of the safety of loving care, the animals would be in imminent danger of their lives, but they wouldn’t know it until it was too late.

I Peter 5:8 (good chapter to read fully)

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour

Richmond Metro Zoo Photos [Personal]

Smiles, knees, noses, eyes, butts and beaks!  I think it’s our favorite pastime together. Come go with us as we meander the Richmond Metro Zoo. The new baby cheetahs were snuggled safely away with their momma, but we can’t wait to see them soon! Which one tickled your fancy? Can you guess which one I’m likely to print huge and frame?

 

Got Camera Questions? [31 Days]

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Cameras, no matter what kind you have, are priceless. Every time I run into someone who knows that I’m a photographer they say one of two things: 1. When can you schedule a session for me and/or 2. How does, what does, when do  ____ insert any array of question regarding a camera and its use. I don’t mind!  As a matter of fact, I’ve taken my passion for teaching and applied it well to photographers. Even today while I was out shooting, I saw 3 different photographers who were making even the basics of mistakes. I did the same thing when I was just beginning (of course, without charging anyone for my practicing). So, I do love to help.

Do you have a dslr sitting around? Do you have a camera that has a “M” on its dial?  Do you know how to use it? I DO.   How would you like to take your children’s or grandchildren’s snapshots and make them look a great photograph?

All you have to do is ask. If you have a camera question, whether it’s about shooting in M, how to do that, or a specific about taking pics of your family, just leave it here. I’ll be back to answer them!

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